“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 4:7
I come from the Upper Peninsula where the mosquitos roam. Growing up everyone always complained about how bad the mosquitos were, but I assumed it was normal. It wasn’t until I left town for college that I realized the amount of mosquitos we have up there is not, in fact, normal. It is ridiculous. When there is a ridiculous amount of mosquitos you’re bound to get bit. And I got bit plenty of times.
I’m told that if you don’t scratch a mosquito bite it eventually stops itching and all is well. I am not one of those people who can stop scratching. I enjoy scratching. I’ll scratch until I have destroyed that bump. It’s not the most pleasant way to deal with it, and it’s likely the most bothersome. But that’s my habit, I can’t stop scratching that itch.
I think there are all sorts of things in our lives that are like that itchy mosquito bite. We get some bad news and we can’t stop worrying about it. Someone insulted us and we can’t let go of our anger as we imagine the various ways we can get back at them. There are all sorts of potential fears and anxieties that we can’t let go from our heads. Is it because we are so oppressed by them, they’re so omnipresent? Or is it sometimes that we in some way enjoy them? That we cannot help but feed into our anger, our fear, and our anxiety? Why, without it, what would I do? Why, without it, how can I pity myself?
I do not mean to cast blame on the victim. We all face trials. I wouldn’t dare diagnose any given person this way. But I am speaking from personal experience here. Sometimes I pray for God to take this worry away, or to drive away my anger, and I realize in the moment that I make the prayer that I desire that worry, and I cherish that anger. As soon as the prayer leaves my lips it feels halfhearted, as if I secretly desire that God would not listen, that his peace would not guard my heart and my mind. Maybe you’ve felt the same way.
It’s a thorny issue. How can we desire, in a way, our own suffering? But this is an aspect of the fall, and a way sin dominates us. Sin doesn’t dominate us against our will, too often sin dominates us because we desire it. Our own desires are often twisted, to the point that we would rather be charged with anxiety than the peace of God. The good news is that God knows what we need before we even ask it, and God’s blessings are not dependent on our will or actions. God’s blessings are dependent on God’s love. Period.
Do not let anything get in the way of prayer. It is one way God works to mend our desires, to bring us to the point where we do not simply scratch the itch of anger, but learn to desire and adore God’s peace. Do not let anything get in the way of Scripture, where the blessings of peace are laid out. Let God work in you, and through you. And he can take the itch away.